Cutting (:

Ive come to find that I am a very hypocritical person.
In everything i say and do.

Tonight i got caught
driving by myself, at midnight.
my mom yelled, and slapped me.
but all i wanted to do was take the knife.
while i was walking back to my room,
i took one of the steak knives :)
came to my room,
sat in a chair and began to cut.

[[note to self, steak knives suck at cutting into skin]]

so i began to look for something else.
i had scissors,
but they didnt work as well.
i remembered the razor i had on the window sill!
i quickly ran to get it, and ran to the bathroom.
i sat on the counter and began to cut

there was 1
then 2
at last, 3
on my left.

i looked and said "hmm.. its not enough"
i switched hands,
one on the right
then one more

the happiness came pouring in!
all of a sudden,
i smiled :D
the biggest smile i've had in a while

i wanted to continue
but i thought
"what if they worried/cared"
but then i thought
"they wouldnt even notice!"

but heres the test
if they dont notice, i'll continue
if they do, i'll find a different spot.

just know that i am deeply thinking of ending it all now.
if only you guys knew i had this blog
if only you guys knew what i was going through
if only you guys knew.

hehe but you dont :D
and you never will
so dont bother trying now!

my cuts are starting to burn
makes me want to pour alcohol on 'em :]]
well i have nothing else to say here
peace out <8^(l)